In the spirit of being more vulnerable this year especially after sharing this post and the importance of vulnerability here… There is another conversation we should have… A conversation about what makes us weird… the little things that others consider odd or not normal that we have that we have began to enjoy.
This week I watched Jeannie Mai share about her social anxiety during her birthday party and it struck a chord with me. Mostly because sharing online or being in a job that has you be in public casts an assumption of how you are. So today, let’s share a couple of things that you didn’t know about me…especially the ones that don’t bother me anymore.
Scrolling through my social media stories particularly Instagram has me get the idea that a bunch of people my age have a very active night life…and like to go for concerts and festivals. Thing is, I have never been out of the house past 12 much less the whole night… And no it’s not because I can’t. I really have never been curious about the night life… I have a preference of cozy pyjamas taking hot soup and having a nice chat. It’s funny though, because a bunch of people actually think its very grandmotherly and earlier it would have bothered me… But it doesn’t. Just come tell me the stories later, after my 8 hour rest…
Another thing is my diet… To be honest this bothers me a little. There’s various factors to this but top on the list is that I am vegetarian (and its not vegan because I eat eggs from time to time). Travel, going to gatherings and even eating out can be such a headache… Or end up being a french fries experience. This is mostly because almost everything that is on their vegetarian menu almost always ends up having cheese or cream both of which I don’t partake. Its funny how B and I went to a wedding once with my sisters and we ended up eating chapati and soda (mind you I am actively cutting soda out of my diet) because there was nothing else to eat. I can’t wait to be raw vegan and be an even more difficult guest to host. Ideally diet shouldn’t be in this category because its a personal choice anyway… But it irked me for the longest time when everyone attributed B’s change of diet to him pleasing me or worse me forcing him (an ultimatum kind of thing). Now it doesn’t irk me… I take full responsibility for improving my best friend’s life and its okay if someone thinks its a bad or unsustainable thing…
There’s also my weight which by the way has been a hot topic in mostly family circles (a topic for another day) specifically my thighs and stomach. Never mind the fact that I like to think that I have a fat brain *chuckles*. I’m not sure this doesn’t bother me any more… I would say it bothers me less now than before. Because being fat is a belief that I have carried since earlier in life,it’s a little difficult to fully overcome the notion. I have always considered my weight as a huge factor that defined me and not in a positive way. Aside from skin, it has been my second longest serving insecurity that I am learning to kick in the butt using my mental thunder squakes (calf muscles) as much as I can.
I shared this because the pressure to look like or behave normal according to society can be so real. And while that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can mask your individual uniqueness and sometimes you are doing the right thing…. So don’t be afraid to live your truth.
Love and love