I messed up and I’m stuck

I knew about our little trip a month before it was supposed to take place. But somewhere along the grand time-line, circumstances changed and so it was going to happen sooner. Or so I thought, but then again a minor detail in the plan wasn’t confirmed then the plans were in limbo for a while.

While I certainly enjoy being in New places, I have a love-hate relationship with the process of traveling. To begin with, I am one of those people who tend to have motion sickness and although I have been doing better in the recent past, my body doe not hesitate to remind me of my roots. So it’s that and my immense phobia of settling in a new environment.

Every time a somewhat big trip or a change in environment presents itself, I usually freak out. I use freak out here to mean great stress and anxiety to a point of not sleeping. I spend nights and days leading to it asking whether we have to, or trying to cover my bases so that the move does not inconvenience me or my work flow. This time of course was no different. I made sure we at all the food in the fridge or gave it out, tried to capture everything that I thought I would need in my wardrobe and even spent 10 hours just making my hair to make sure I wouldn’t be stressing over hair. I also spent weeks leading to this shooting content for a skin care Instagram series and my YouTube channel so that I would only need to edit it which would take less hours from my day.

Everything was pretty set by the eve of travel day, just that I needed to shoot one final set of videos and for that B had to clear some of my camera memory to make space. I asked him to transfer to the hard disk which he did and I was able to shoot the final episodes and he packed everything up.

Fast forward post travel day, this post and birthday…. It’s now Sunday and I woke up really pumped to edit my videos because they begin to roll out tomorrow (Monday)… Then I discover that we didn’t carry the hard drive which means I don’t have any footage to edit…. Hence I messed up…. Been feeling numb and sad and pretty upset about it. Just because I worked so hard and was looking forward to it and I don’t have any idea what to do. I feel so stuck.

I’m sorry that I don’t have a solution for myself and I feel so horrible and stuck… There’s no silver lining or phew moment just meh…. I just thought I would let that out…Here is your support a girl video as usual…


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