A literal mumble jumble

I probably started writing a post and then ran out of things to say or got distracted. I can’t believe how distracting adulting is, I am literally minutes away from spiraling into another existential crisis, as if the 36500 crises that I have already had this year are not enough. I have been postponing showing up here just because my thoughts are not settled on what I should talk about, my body is breaking down and I need to pack and cook. Yoh! I could use a bit of help in adulting, because this is not it.

You see, the other day I just realized that there’s just about 80 days to Christmas. Between finishing a project that I needed to be done by this year, having not completed half of my vision board and an abandoned project…of course panic is setting in really quickly. It’s not like the tasks above are an impossibility or the time is necessarily short…but end years come with a level of urgency for me. It really feels like school all over again when you finally realize that the Geography textbook is that big and you need to remember all the hydroelectric power plants in Africa (but why?) That urgency is something that I have struggled with in my adult life, because it makes me paralyzed and I can’t move. I guess that’s what overthinking does.

Resultantly I have 80 days, and a shit load of tasks to complete (which ironically includes writing this post) and I have been thinking f ways to break this down through to the end in a way that will not overwhelm me…which I will probably shere once I have figured that out. My journal is an excellent resource which I will put to use for this.

What I am trying to say, apart from drawing you to the fact that the year is coming to an end, is the struggle of adulating is common to us all though in varying strength and I am going through it right now…We will talk a lot more during the week but for now check out this new Youtube video that has just gone up.


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