For someone who moves around a lot, my adjusting time is really long, or at least that’s what B pointed out. I technically with my level of experience in traveling (read as operating from three homes per unit time) I should be able to adjust to different spaces really easily and relatively fast. Except I don’t.
In fact I actually struggle to adjust to new surroundings. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I never had space growing up, because we were six children in a small house. Personal space was a myth in our house really. And I adjusted well to different situations pretty OK, until I didn’t. So I started to try carve out alcoves for myself that I could call mine because I needed to. This was in campus. My sisters had moved out for school which meant they kind of started to have their own spaces and unfortunately I didn’t get that opportunity. So I tried to create pockets of my personal space in what was our communal space, and I failed really hard. Turns out once a space is communal, turning it into personal space isn’t quite possible.
But I guess I was okay with my small private public arrangement until I tasted true private space. This was when B went into internship and got a house (can we talk about dating while not having your own space? Because that’s ghetto) and I had my own room. I could now occupy space and that feeling was glorious, just arranging my clothes in a closet and my haircare products (which are now replaced by skin care) was *chef’s kiss*.
There was a small problem, I started having a fear of taking up space/losing my own space, or better still having to custom craft new spaces to spaces that felt comfortable for me. Unfortunately traveling involves alot of that. Getting a hotel room or airbnb and having to configure how to make the space work makes me really nervous. Actually it’s because of this that I discovered how emotions physically drain you. I usually need a day of no activity just dedicated to settling in and this usually takes time. So much time that I need a vacation to rest from taking a vacation… Which is crazy.
Today is technically that day for me. I wasn’t planning on it, in fact it was a goal of mine this travel cycle not to have a down day. I was to do some catching up with work and head off to a lunch/adventure with B in the afternoon… But I woke up with a headache and random body aches. I tried to push on but my body was like “nah fam”. The headache and fatigue was so bad I had to go back to bed… I don’t know if this happens to you… Or I am just getting old and my body is really letting me know.
I just finished my stretches though, and I feel a lot better. About to hop into the shower because I have to leave because B is waiting. I guess what I am trying to say is that its an adjustment that I am learning to deal with. Being comfortable taking ups space, and learning to take less time adjusting…Now let me tackle this not-so-down day.