Two things prompt my writing… Darkness or nights and music. In my last post I talked about my random 2.00 am nights and my struggle with sleep. One of the things that I now do is listen to something, it helps me not be so aware of my sorrounding and helps me relax. I also use music to help me gather my thoughts and concentrate… Which is the case today. It’s almost midnight on Christmas eve, and weirdly enough, I’m struggling.
I can not begin to tell you how many posts (actual and draft posts) that I have started to write at 2.00 a.m because my sleep is a literal joke. I think I would classify it as more unstable than group 1 elements in the presence of moisture. OK that might be an exaggeration but you get the drift. Anything can set off my insomnia alarm and sometimes feel like my body does this to test me.
I was trying to figure out a way to introduce this topic because its technically so left field for me. You would think fashion is just that, I mean how hard can wearing clothes be? its one of the basic tasks hat you learn as a toddler. Except its not that easy, especially to a young, plus size woman in a heavily cultural and religious setting. If you though people have opinions on what you chose to wear, now imagine being a fat, Christian, African woman, you really have to multiply that by a factor which in my estimation has to be greater than 5.
I intended to write about fashion this week. Or was it last week, I am not sure at this point. I just know I needed to write about that. it was going to be a summary of the looks that I put together for this challenge….(which you should consider trying) but life would have it otherwise. Last week was supposed to bet the week of doing my social media work for the month so that I can then pave way for other assignments that I was to do. That of course turned out terrible.
For someone who moves around a lot, my adjusting time is really long, or at least that’s what B pointed out. I technically with my level of experience in traveling (read as operating from three homes per unit time) I should be able to adjust to different spaces really easily and relatively fast. Except I don’t.
B and I have been watching a telenovela, for maybe three or so months albeit non consecutively. (yeah the show has 100 episodes). Usually we don’t commit this long, or should I say I don’t, because B watched How I met your mother to completion a week after internship. Just for context, it’s been three years and I have never finished that show and I am not even sure that I am interested in doing so. The commitment is not my strongest point.
I have always envisioned myself as those girls in the pictures who put a laptop on their lap in bed, with a cup of tea and a towel turban on their head working on a chill evening. the problem is, I hardly if ever put a laptop on my lap despite its name suggesting were it should be placed, let alone turban my head with a towel. Its not like I haven’t done it before, its just that that instance was a shoot and the towel fell off my head not long after. The reality is, I can barely concentrate in bed, my laptop is 17 inches and quite heavy and I once had a cup of tea while I was working and ended up spilling the drink on my laptop key board and ended up needing a new one…So usually I just sit on the desk and type my posts.
I probably started writing a post and then ran out of things to say or got distracted. I can’t believe how distracting adulting is, I am literally minutes away from spiraling into another existential crisis, as if the 36500 crises that I have already had this year are not enough. I have been postponing showing up here just because my thoughts are not settled on what I should talk about, my body is breaking down and I need to pack and cook. Yoh! I could use a bit of help in adulting, because this is not it.
It has almost two weeks since we caught up on this my little space on the internet. I usually look forward to writing because it has become my form of release that doesn’t take too much preparation. Unlike videos where I have to set up myself to be a presentable human, I can look homeless and still write without feeling like I will be judged for it. So I absolutely love blogging for that reason. So not writing for two weeks means that I have been swamped with life….