I knew about our little trip a month before it was supposed to take place. But somewhere along the grand time-line, circumstances changed and so it was going to happen sooner. Or so I thought, but then again a minor detail in the plan wasn’t confirmed then the plans were in limbo for a while.
Today is my birthday…. Yes you heard right. I am just walking briefly out of an existential crisis to share a few random thoughts that crossed my mind at 26.
There’s a little over four days left in 2018 which makes it ideal to share some truths that I have learnt through out this year. Some may sound so cliche but trust me, its the cliché things that we ignore that tend to change our lives. So here are my top five truths…
Hey beautiful people…
Happy end of the week. Hope you are holding up well. I am so so excited because September started quite well actually…last Sunday was the best friend’s birthday and we got down to some cooking which I shall share with you soon. Apart from that let us talk about self-love today. When someone says self-love it usually sounds like a bad excuse to indulge in vanity (or so I think in my head) but my mind has gotten round to wrapping itself around that concept.
I read alex_elle’s blog and I was very inspired to get into my own self-love experience and I have been finding so much beauty and love and sunshine in life. I think I am more patient now with the little faults in people (read as peeves). Thinking back to last month I have really experienced so much more love from myself and others as well.
I have had major wins as far as self-appreciation is concerned. Getting to shower my curves and edges with lots of love and even wear them proudly is a big deal! Also, accepting my weaknesses and coming up with a way to improve myself is coming at a pace that I am happy with.
Thanks for journeying with me on this. For those not on board, let’s join and learn to love us!! I would love to hear about your journey too!!
Love and love
I shared with you my hair regimen a while back and I’m thinking the next question is how do you then personalize your hair journey and regimen? When I started out on this journey the biggest favour I did for myself was to keep my eyes open and of course my brain. I read all that I could read and sifted through loads of information. I still read a lot much more than I did then. I found some five “mantras” that really helped me get a foothold of this journey and I shall share with you
1. Read and read a lot
There is loads and loads of information everywhere and that is what you need. Look out for any information and go through it. Try synthesize it so that you come up with and understanding of your own. There are youtubers and bloggers who hand that information to you free of charge. Grasp the opportunities to learn. I say this quite cautiously because the information might be contradicting so keep your brain open to think and find out what best works for you.
2. Deep condition every time you wash and co wash
Our hair need lots of moisture and this is one of the ways to ensure our hair keeps in the moisture. It can be a little taxing because it adds 30 minutes or there about to your wash day which is a sacrifice on your part. So when you make it a habit, it stops bothering you, you actually love it. (I even started deep conditioning on the go under my scarves and turbans.
3. No combs or harsh tools in the first six months
In the first months of your journey especially if you are recovering from some type of damage, your hair is trying to figure out the sudden change in patterns and habits, so be gentle to it. Try finger detangling and keeping it in protective styles so that it figures out itself slowly but surely.
4. Social media
Inspiration comes from here. Diversify your crowd to include natural hair peoples who are also in the same journey you are in.
Here is where the bulk of the work lies. I had to give you a pep talk in the first four points so that we get to the big deal here.
Look at your schedule, create time for your hair… a time when you are relaxed because you don’t want to touch bae when you are frustrated ey?
Lean to handle your own hair. Nobody does your hair better than you.
Keep your mind open. You may try and sometimes fail, but don’t be afraid to try again
Also hair grows from inside out. What are you eating? What is your lifestyle like?
How did you come up with your hair regimen? I’d love to know…drop me a comment
To find out about my regimen, there is this post
Love and love
In a world where there are opinions constantly being thrown at us, it gets increasingly difficult to enjoy who we really are. There is always room to be a little of something that we are not. How many times has someone around you told you how you can be a little thinner, a little fatter, a little taller, or even lighter? How many times have we dived into the internet to search for solutions and ideas to get our stomachs to the right size, or to achieve a standard of pretty that society has thrown on us?
Perhaps it is about your significant other… he can be a little richer, or perhaps should be a little older than you. Probably he should have been from a different community or a different person altogether. It could be your religious belief or your lifestyle. It could be anything. Just before you listen to them, PAUSE and take a deep breath.
ACCEPTANCE is key. It is a new (not really) word that I am beginning to incorporate into my journey and my life in general.
ACCEPTANCE is being okay and content with who I am… I always wanted to be a boy, for some reason it seemed so cool. So I tried everything that I thought would draw me nearer to being a boy. The shaggy hair, baggy pants you name it. Unfortunately nothing worked so here I am Just me. This means that I work with being a girl, and be content with being female, to achieve the goals I set for myself.
ACCEPTANCE is capitalizing on my strengths and working on my weaknesses I am very tactile and emotional, something that I am quite nervous about. It works both ways as strength and also the tool to my downfall as it were. I am slowly learning to embrace it as part of my journey and seeking to use my emotional self to reach out to others.
Acceptance is embracing my curves… and flaws… learning that my features serve to enhance the person that I already am and I am becoming. That flaws are special reminders of my journey, where I have been and perhaps where I am headed. They serve as the diversity in all this mix, and that I don’t have to ascribe to anybody’s school of thought if I don’t want to.
Acceptance is being proud of my weirdity… (is this even a word?). Proud that I get to have the perspectives that I have, proud that I have the exposure that I have. Proud to ascribe to my lifestyle however radical it may be. Just proud to be me.
Acceptance is loving B…. loving him just the way he is, loving him to the best of my knowledge and in a way he understands. Loving him in the way we choose…. Focusing on the future ahead rather than the side shows and distractions… refusing to let go in hard times and definitely enjoying the good times we have. Just loving B.
What is the one thing you have had to accept to enjoy being you?
Love and love
So its birthday month! Yey! Really excited (a bit less excited actually) it’s more like thankful to be marking yet another year. I have been thinking that I should start getting my health game strong and other related good goals ( am I the only one who has all this panicky thoughts as I grow older?). Today though, I thought to share with you a few of my lessons in chapter twenty three of life and hopefully I can encourage someone in a similar phase of life. So as usual, grab a drink… like healthy herbal tea, and sit on your favourite chair and let us unpack herstagmakini’s twenty third chapter.
In a nutshell chapter twenty three has been one of those chapters that evoke mixed feelings. A lot of learning, a whole lot…and we all know that some lessons are hard while some are easy. Others take time and hurt for you to fully grasp but in the end you finally get it and emerge a stronger person. A lot of fun as well, with friends, with B and family; getting to appreciate and learn different personalities. I compiled a list of 23 things I learnt in my twenty third year:
1.Life is unfair… in a fair-ish way…
Not everything goes the way I wish and sometimes I don’t even power to change it. That’s okay, be happy with what I have.
2. Celebrate those who love me…..not everyone does.
Learn to see your cheer squad and embrace them.
3.Heap hot coals on their heads.
So many mean people in the world? It’s okay… Don’t be mean as well but rather be nice to them. If they are aggressive …avoid them.
4.ME time is important.
Get some time to absorb things, my emotions… to stock take and work on me… just me
5.SILENCE is golden…
In times of anger and extreme displeasure or congregations of those that rather make conversations about others… instead of projecting words in their raw and unpleasant form, walking away and silence do the trick.
6.ARGUMENTS are silly…
It’s more of a display of ego rather than an attempt to solve a problem.
7.Empty my emotional bottle often….
It may tip one day and a breakdown will happen.
8.Try not to care… just try
Or rather be careful who I listen to. Some people are there to shoot me down…
9.PRAY… talk to HIM
It HELPS a lot. HE always listens, always…. HE listens to everything.
10.Talking to someone doesn’t always help…
Be careful who I talk to… I may be setting myself up for disappointment… like secret spilling?
11.Be easy on myself…
I am also allowed to make mistakes… and learn from them.
12.Love and love 100%….
Like there is no tomorrow….that is the only way I will fully experience love, by giving it.
13.It’s okay to cry not everyone understands you
Tears cleanse the soul, so cry it all out, and express myself.
14.Avoiding toxic people is beneficial for your health
Toxic people can be anyone, who puts you down… it may be in their nature and that is okay. I don’t have to entertain them.
15.Don’t be scared to make decisions…
Some may be hard, real hard… but it’s okay, I’m the only one who can shape my life.
16.Face the consequences as well…
Be ready not to be as liked, to be talked about… just be ready for everything that comes with my decision.
17.Beauty is much more than external…
Nothing beats a gentle honest spirit… a nice person. So strive to be true to myself and very honest with everyone around.
18.Do something for others
It is very fulfilling to see B or mum smile and know that I’, the reason behind it…
19.Choose your battles…
Not every friendship, association, goal or dream is worth fighting for… some may just waste my energy.
20.Self-discovery is a process…
And with every process there is pain, tears, happiness, excitement and disappointment… just enjoy the process.
21Exposing yourself is your duty…
Grab those opportunities that are thrown at me… nobody can do that for me.
22.Think highly of yourself…
An independent mind is the best thing I can do to myself
23.Have fun… its never that serious.
Yes… enjoy living every single day, or at least try.
love and love,